"I mean he regularly sees my butthole and he still fancies the pants off me." Oh my God, this made the copious amounts of my belly fat jiggle around with laughter for a long time. Classic, love it! Also, I have shared this journey and I wonder why we are so conditioned to believe such shit about beauty? Now that I am 'old' the pressure gets even worse. Anti aging cream bullshit - yet somehow men get distinguished??? Wtf even is that! Great post Evelyn and beautifully honest writing.
This was amazing Chicken! I enjoy your sassy non-fiction voice. And I love you and your beautiful body just the way it is. You are perfect and this was perfect too! :)
Insecurity and negative self-image drink a Monster-Red Bull cocktail 24-7. They never stop sipping, and they never stop sniping, and I too have garments that have just the wrong cut to make me feel like my body used to be, that make me aware of the way shadows land on it and whether twisting in this direction with reveal leftover flab and
Yeah, I really love your landing spot. If those jeans amplify those thoughts and feeling, another pair sounds perfect. Chocolate is delicious, and no person—especially not a driven, busy, loved person—should feel compelled to count every calorie every day.
I’m so happy this ended with you pursuing a garment that will make you comfortable so you can do all the great things you do with these concerns as a nagging little voice you hear sometimes rather than one that prods you every time you sit down. I’m sure those new jeans will look great anyway.
Huzzah! Such an important choice to voice, and one women will never tire to hear.
And this sentence is just divine: “You are not a thing to be perfected; you are not a project. You are a whole ass person with great tits and lovely jubbly bum and a hot throbbing brain.”
I’m glad you’ve brought your “hot throbbing brain” back here to Substack - what a great piece. I’ve got 20 yrs on you and I absolutely feel your pain, the jeans I’ve loved (& kept thru a few seasons w/ images of them fitting again without the dreaded up-creep) are long gone, but I’ve found new ones I love that fit, for now. We’re heading into our summer up here & I’m just grateful the swimsuit I bought last yr still fits so I don’t have to do THAT horrific dressing room nightmare again anytime soon. You are right, your clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around, so I am learning to find what works for me and the chocolate I will not give up!
“Never off the clock.” Exactly. Ugh…having once been a rabid dancer & martial artist who became disabled, injured & exhausted, and having passed the 50 year line of demarcation as well, this *thing* truly never is off the clock, and so it feels like I can’t be either. But that last statement: it really IS the least interesting thing about us, even though it’s always been the Be All End All of Value (or lack thereof). Thank you for this reminder as I come off 2 weeks of sitting in a car traveling from one amazing location to another, sitting on couches and chairs for hours of laughter and conversation with long-lost friends and family, and meal after meal of decadent, droolable special-occasion food, now with wildfire smoke hampering access to outdoor exercise. Screw it. Please pass me the creamy wild rice soup, the rhubarb tart, and the fried walleye slathered in butter! 🤤This morning my aunt is taking the frosting topped cinnamon roll bread and making us French toast with it. And with bacon, of course. Nommmmmm… Thank you for the reminder to just sit here and enjoy it in my comfy, pretty clothes.
Yaaaas nommm! Last night I got to try Scotch Eggs. Hard boiled egg wrapped in a layer of sausage and deep fried. 😱🤩🤤 And absolutely! It isn’t so important to the right ones. 🥰
"I mean he regularly sees my butthole and he still fancies the pants off me." Oh my God, this made the copious amounts of my belly fat jiggle around with laughter for a long time. Classic, love it! Also, I have shared this journey and I wonder why we are so conditioned to believe such shit about beauty? Now that I am 'old' the pressure gets even worse. Anti aging cream bullshit - yet somehow men get distinguished??? Wtf even is that! Great post Evelyn and beautifully honest writing.
Thank you! Yeah I feel like once you engage critically with the narratives of beauty it all rather quickly falls apart - like a house of cards.
I glad you got a giggle out of it.
This was amazing Chicken! I enjoy your sassy non-fiction voice. And I love you and your beautiful body just the way it is. You are perfect and this was perfect too! :)
Thank you. this means the absolute most.
“You are never off the clock”
Insecurity and negative self-image drink a Monster-Red Bull cocktail 24-7. They never stop sipping, and they never stop sniping, and I too have garments that have just the wrong cut to make me feel like my body used to be, that make me aware of the way shadows land on it and whether twisting in this direction with reveal leftover flab and
Yeah, I really love your landing spot. If those jeans amplify those thoughts and feeling, another pair sounds perfect. Chocolate is delicious, and no person—especially not a driven, busy, loved person—should feel compelled to count every calorie every day.
I’m so happy this ended with you pursuing a garment that will make you comfortable so you can do all the great things you do with these concerns as a nagging little voice you hear sometimes rather than one that prods you every time you sit down. I’m sure those new jeans will look great anyway.
Thank you Michael. It truly is so freeing to just decide not to care. And honestly I couldn't give up the chocolate even if I wanted too!
Clothes so often feel like a trap and they shouldn't. they should be fun ways to express ourselves.
Thanks! The new jeans feel great in all the ways.
Huzzah! Such an important choice to voice, and one women will never tire to hear.
And this sentence is just divine: “You are not a thing to be perfected; you are not a project. You are a whole ass person with great tits and lovely jubbly bum and a hot throbbing brain.”
I think it's important to ditch the ideas (and clothes) that no longer serve us. It has been very freeing.
Oh, thank you! That means so much.
I’m glad you’ve brought your “hot throbbing brain” back here to Substack - what a great piece. I’ve got 20 yrs on you and I absolutely feel your pain, the jeans I’ve loved (& kept thru a few seasons w/ images of them fitting again without the dreaded up-creep) are long gone, but I’ve found new ones I love that fit, for now. We’re heading into our summer up here & I’m just grateful the swimsuit I bought last yr still fits so I don’t have to do THAT horrific dressing room nightmare again anytime soon. You are right, your clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around, so I am learning to find what works for me and the chocolate I will not give up!
NEVER GIVE UP CHOCOLATE, it's like giving up joy haha.
And I completely understand. I swear change rooms intentionally have the worst lighting and fun house mirrors that make you feel your absolute worst!
Thank you, I am so glad to be back.
“Never off the clock.” Exactly. Ugh…having once been a rabid dancer & martial artist who became disabled, injured & exhausted, and having passed the 50 year line of demarcation as well, this *thing* truly never is off the clock, and so it feels like I can’t be either. But that last statement: it really IS the least interesting thing about us, even though it’s always been the Be All End All of Value (or lack thereof). Thank you for this reminder as I come off 2 weeks of sitting in a car traveling from one amazing location to another, sitting on couches and chairs for hours of laughter and conversation with long-lost friends and family, and meal after meal of decadent, droolable special-occasion food, now with wildfire smoke hampering access to outdoor exercise. Screw it. Please pass me the creamy wild rice soup, the rhubarb tart, and the fried walleye slathered in butter! 🤤This morning my aunt is taking the frosting topped cinnamon roll bread and making us French toast with it. And with bacon, of course. Nommmmmm… Thank you for the reminder to just sit here and enjoy it in my comfy, pretty clothes.
It's so silly how much value is put on aesthetics. I'm learning that it really doesn't matter, at least it won't matter to the right people.
All of that food sounds amazing! Enjoy it all!
Yaaaas nommm! Last night I got to try Scotch Eggs. Hard boiled egg wrapped in a layer of sausage and deep fried. 😱🤩🤤 And absolutely! It isn’t so important to the right ones. 🥰